Regret
by 2d66
Summary: As Shego tries to come to terms with her loss, one word is what comes to mind. Image is from Bri-sta on dA


Okay, so this is just a short story I wrote while I was supposed to by typing a history report. Anyway just as a warning, it is sad. I must also say I do not own Kim Possible (this is a sad story with Kigo i the background).

Regret.

Such a simple word, with so much meaning to me now. The emotion and feelings behind this one word threaten to consume my very being. Everywhere I go it plagues my thoughts. Everything I see transforms into memories of a once happy time. Every sound I hear echoes the soft, caressing voice that I long for more than anything.

It is a funny thing how life turns out, I guess. Just a few years ago I thought I d be the cause of this horrible tragedy, but now I am the chief mourner. I would have assaulted someone if they had told me then that I d be here now, my black dress stained with tears.

With every step I take feeling as if I have less to live for. Less to hope for. Less to strive for.

I probably should have seen this coming. I know I should have! I told her, no I insisted, that she needed to stop before something irrevocable happened. I told her that I d be lost without her! I told her I loved her! All she said was that she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she stopped.

So what about me? How am I supposed to live without the only person I smiled at every time I saw them? The only person I longed to caress? The only person that made me happy? The only person I will ever love?

Sure she will die a hero to everyone else. They will probably erect statues in her name. Hell they may even give her a holiday in her name. But what of me? All I am left with is an empty house and regrets.

I don t even know how I got up enough strength to come to this gloomy place. It feels as if they are taking her away from me in so many ways. They are putting her in the ground to keep her away from me, so I don t destroy her great and spotless reputation.

It does seem like they did a decent job with the preparations and the full military honors and all though. Hell they better have! It was their fault she was taken from me anyway!

As I stand with her family beside her resting place I guess it finally sinks in. I am alone. There is nothing left to live for. She was my life, my lover, and my friend. She was better than me; that's for sure. I can't explain how much I'd rather be in that coffin right now instead of her. I deserved this, not her.

I can t even pay attention to the lavish ceremony they are holding, just to put her in the ground. Instead, I call on my thoughts to keep me company as I fiddle with the box in my pocket, the source of my regret.

POW!

I jump at the sound of the honorary gunshots. I begin to weep like a child as her father holds me and his wife, trying to comfort us.

POW!

I jump again at the horrid sound. I feel as if with every shot I m being pierced in what is left of my sad heart.

POW!

Oh how I wish the shots were aimed at me, that there were real bullets in the rifles!

The unimaginable sorrow that I am filled with is only rivaled by how proud I am of her. She died as a warrior and she is buried as a warrior. And I am the grieving partner left to only my memories of her beautiful, sparkling mane. Her soft, smooth skin. Her warm breath on my neck. The very sound of her voice.

I just stood there, reminiscing, for what seemed like days but was probably only a few hours. It didn t really matter anyway; I was alone in my observance.

I eventually talked my legs into slowly inching their way to her final resting place. When I get there, I bend down and stare at the tombstone of the woman I love. I try to speak, but the words only get stuck in my throat. The pain from simply not being able to say anything to my love is too great to bear. But what is there for me to say if I could speak?

So instead I just took the simple black box out of my pocket and placed it on the ground. As I stared at such a simple shape, I can t help but imagine what could have been.

After several minutes I open the box and face it towards the tombstone before I stand up. As I walk away I can see the glint of the diamond on the ring.

Oh god, only if...

So? Hope you enjoyed the short read. Oh and a shout out to eo who looked over this for me real quick!


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